Fright night!!

Last night I was walking down through the garden in the pitch dark to put Mrs Mac to bed with her hot water bottle and two large plastic bottles filled with hot water - to keep the chill off.    

As usual I 'chatted' to her in a loud sing, song voice as I approached.   It was very, very dark and my torch batteries were fading.....    I thought I heard a rustle in the hedge and fleetingly thought maybe a fox or big feral cat was prowling.   I talked louder

"Hello Mrs Mac" I boomed into the dark, feeling around for the catch to the hen house.   "coochy, coochy coo.   So how are you wee hen?" I shouted  

"are you cold?   It's a frosty one tonight" I told her

"look here's your bottle there's a good girl" I clucked

I caught a flash of her tiny wee eyes and carried on making loud cluck, cluck, clucking noises (this to comfort her) as I carefully laid the hot bottles next to her nesting box and then locked the hutch for the night.    I shouted 

"night, night then Mrs Mac there's a good wee girl - see you tomorrow"

 ... and then I heard a car engine and loud hooves like a stampede - which it was!    It was the French farmer herding cows in the dark up our lane to the back field.    By the light of his car headlights I could see two farm hands who must have been standing in the bushes waiting on the cows - and listening to me!!     

I was mortified and fled to the house!!